Category Archives: Lifestyle

The things that make my life mine. The way I live. My life. Here and now.

Finding the needle in the haystack

*I hope this is the only time happens, but I had to go through this thing and update a lot of it. Sorry about that. The pen is mightier than the sword, but in the hands of tired eyes the keyboard can seemingly run away with a bulldozer before you know what has happened.*

There’s only a few times in life that we actually find something worth holding on to, and rarely do we actually try hard to protect what we’ve found because we’ve become blind to how good life really is, especially when it’s good. You never know what you had until it’s gone. I agree with this, though I have learned that possess something that cannot be taken away because of a break-up: me. I will always have myself. Yes, I am talking about relationships, but don’t worry, it’s not all that bad. Yeah, breakups suck, especially when you’ve become fixated on being with one person and you’ve decided you’d do anything for them just to show how much you actually do care. You can’t stop other people from making their choices, but you can try to be better for yourself regardless of their choices. I disagree with people that tell me “I think you need to be ok being alone.” They usually tell me that in between their makeout sessions with their boyfriends. I find it ironic, really. I’d like to tell them to breakup with their boyfriends, be ok with it and after a year decide whether or not they want a relationship. Funny how people change their ideas when the boot is on the other foot. Of course, I wouldn’t tell them that, simply because I hate the idea of breakups and I think people should just work their issues out together, because in the long run that would make a much stronger bond in the relationship. Think of it this way: what would have happened had Peeta decided to throw in the towel when Katniss wasn’t very accepting of his kindnesses? I mean, Peeta could have just killed her, won the game and been done with it. Right? Or maybe an even better, would the ring had ever been destroyed if Samwise just told Frodo he was done with the drama and given up on him? I mean, Frodo was REALLY hard on Sam for a while there. In the end, the ring was destroyed not because of Frodo alone, but because of Samwise’s commitment to the journey, because he knew what the result of his perseverance would be, and it wasn’t to glorify himself either. Samwise stuck it out, and helped even when Frodo was anything but pleasant.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking “But you’ve been divorced, how can you be against breakups and be so strongly for people working through their issues together?”

Yeah, I know. Seems hypocritical. But it’s not, it’s actually the basis for my argument, and it’s a damn good argument, too. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? God made Adam. Adam was lonely (before there were women, so don’t give me the line “he was lonely because he saw Even and wanted to be with her.” Bologna!). God, seeing Adam was alone and that it was not good for him to be alone, made him a helpmate: a woman named Eve. Then they made some choices, got into trouble, were ashamed…the usual weekend stuff. Ok, even if you don’t believe the Bible, come on, are you going to argue the logic?
So to sum it up: God made Adam, God saw Adam needed a woman, Eve was created. Created because Adam had a need. Interesting that God would design us to be relationship creatures, yet so many of us decide that what’s more important is myself.

But that’s a whole different topic…me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine. I want, I want I want. It’s what all the cool kids are saying these days, aren’t they? Self glorification. Self idolization. Self salvation. It’s all rubbish.

From this we understand that God created relationships, in fact, He designed people to have a relationship with Him. Also, before the apple was consumed people (all 2 of them) were without sin, and even without sin Adam needed Eve. Adam….needed….Eve. Are you guys getting this???

This isn’t my argument for me being in a relationship, let’s just make this perfectly clear. This is an argument to those who tell you “you need to be ok with yourself alone” while they are in a relationship, which to me seems ultra-hypocritical. Just saying. Neither, however, am I saying “get in a relationship!” What I’m trying to say is, if you’re in a relationship, work on your issues. Bring them to God, together. Work them out, become the strong bond that most couples only hope to achieve.

Going back to the whole divorce thing…it takes two to tango, as my dad always said. Even though he doesn’t tango. Or dance at all.
It takes two people to work on their issues, their problems, their worries, their concerns, their relationship. Why? Because a relationship between two people goes deeper than the skin, it goes deeper than emotions, and it goes deeper than the memories. What you create together is a bond between the spirits. When that bond is broken there is a great loss, because we were designed to be in a relationship. It’s not terribly complicated. People say “oh, I didn’t work out with him because our personalities were conflicting” or “she just didn’t have that spark that she once had, it was like she just didn’t make me feel good anymore”. I call bullshit! Conflicting personalities? What were you attracted to in the beginning? That spark? Of course that goes away a little after a while, it’s called being an imperfect human and dealing with each other’s shit!

Ok, I’ll get off the soap box now. But just so you know, the next time someone confides to you “I think I want to breakup with her/him” don’t take advantage of the situation like many lazy, slack-jawed idiots. Just remind them that they were created for a relationship, that working it out has a much greater outcome than running away, and that it’s truly a blessing to realize what they have before it’s too late.
And the congregation said amen.

~B

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I want you – original lyrics, work in progress

you came home last night again, smelling like another man’s world

I’ve been here waiting since you left, and it seems like I’m waiting still

you won’t look me in the eyes, guess i know the reason why

when you talk you talk small, but that isn’t the worse of it all

.

I want you, I want you

nothing more in this world, I want you

I want you deep in my arms with your beautiful smile

I want you

.

everything I held deep inside, all my fears and my pride

I gave to you in the light, in hopes that someone would understand

but I was wrong and now every night, I’ll be screaming your name on the inside

tearing me open, on the inside

.

I wanted you, I wanted you

nothing more in the world, I wanted you

I wanted you deep in my heart with your beautiful mind

I wanted you

but you decided you wouldn’t want me

.

these original lyrics by Brian G. Jacobs, 2013

no permission to reproduce these lyrics is expressed unless when allowed by Brian G. Jacobs

The Rose – Original lyrics, work in progress

Girl let that rose, grow in the land, I just want, to hold your hand

Will you be mine, forever? I just want, for us to be together

.

I will never leave, I will always love you

Even in the dark, I will always hold you

Even if the danger comes, I will always fight for you

When it’s time to go I will still love you…

.

Everyday I, wake to your face, I’ll count my blessings, in our homey place

We’ll spend a lifetime, doing many things, And its of you, that my heart sings

.

I will never leave, I will always love you

Even in the dark, I will always hold you

Even if the danger comes, I will always fight for you

When it’s time to go I will still love you…

.

Girl put them flowers, down on the stone, And go back to, the place we called home

Call our friends and, family my love, And don’t cry because, I’ll be watching you from above

.

I will never leave, I will always love you

Even in the dark, I will always hold you

Even if the danger comes, I will always fight for you

When it’s time to go I will still love you…

these original lyrics by Brian G. Jacobs, 2013

no permission to reproduce these lyrics is expressed unless when allowed by Brian G. Jacobs

Everything – Original lyrics, work in progress

everything that you thought you were fighting for, is lying naked with him on the floor
all your emotions and every tear, only validate your simple fears

well, don’t give up, and don’t give in,

this life will turn out right, in the end.

and don’t give up, no, don’t fall in,

that grave is deeper than you think, my friend.

everything she said to never fear, is looking back at her now, my “dear”
how can she deny when I know, all the dirty seeds that she’s sown

well, don’t give up, and don’t give in

this life will turn out right, in the end

don’t give up, no, don’t fall in

that grave is deeper than you think, my friend

and every day must become night,

and every night will come to an end,

it’s hard to forget the pain,

when she was your everything

these original lyrics by Brian G. Jacobs, 2013

no permission to reproduce these lyrics is expressed unless when allowed by Brian G. Jacobs

Fashion: sheer fails to obscure the hearts of many

Ok, so being a guy I realize I hold very little strength in an argument about fashion. Not just a guy. A nerdy-ish, country-ish, utilitarian type of guy. I find little use for today’s brand of fashion and hope that someday we will turn, once again, to the heavily functional, less sheer, collections as opposed to the sex appeal presented by the powers that be in the fashion industry who all want one thing and one thing only, your American Dollar. They don’t care what they have to do to get it, they want it and they will get it unless you fight back with modesty. Don’t flatter yourself just because that skimpy little black dress looks great, makes you feel sexy, and get’s the guy’s attention. I mean, attention is great, but is that the only reason you wear clothes? Believe me, there’s more to life, and if you spend it looking for attention you’ll die unhappy and feeling alone. Think about it. Not just for my opinion’s sake, either.

It’s for that reason that I abhor the “it’s see through, but you can’t see everything, just most everything, and my bra covers everything else, do you like my bra?” types of clothes that seem to have made their way into popular culture and everyday coverings. The over-the-top-flirty, “I don’t care”, and  generally promiscuous attitudes that project from these lingerie-esque tops make me sick. I see girls wearing these things all the time, and yes, they are actually a really nice shirt to wear over things like tank tops, even over creatively color coordinated t-shirts or other appropriately covering tops. However, it’s the bra or bandeau (…don’t get me started…a bandeau IS, for all intents and purposes, a bra!!!) alone with a sheer shirt that makes me cringe.

Way to go. You just gave an eyeful to the general public. You’ll never get that back. Thanks a lot for pushing the general sense of personal responsibility and class down a notch in the world. Now everyone can see what was meant for your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, and even if you aren’t to that point in your relationship, you will be someday and how then will you cope with dressing differently tomorrow with the habits you have built today? If you don’t take your relationship seriously, you’ll dress like an immature, young minded individual, so you will do nothing different and everyone will notice. Way to respect your relationship.

If you’re not in a relationship, you still have a responsibility to yourself and those around you. What kind of example do you want to set for the younger generation?!

For crying out loud.

You guys should do what you want. I’m not saying dress in sack clothes, cut square on all four corners. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel sexy about what you’re wearing, even on a daily basis. I’m not even saying you should never wear a sheer shirt. I AM saying, modesty, time and place, appropriateness, think for yourself. Don’t let corporate clothing tell you what to wear. But please, do try to look a little harder in the mirror and ask “is this something I would want reflected upon myself in 5, 10, 15 years?” Your image, my friends. That’s what this is about. Get it?

That’s what I think. Don’t like it? Tough cookies.

~B

A day with me

Instead of writing a “how to” style piece, I’m just going to update you guys what I do in a day. I’ll start tomorrow when I wake up and stop keeping track when I go to bed. Stay tuned tomorrow! I will update every 6 hours with as much detail as I feel necessary, though I expect to turn over a few rocks throughout the day. Should turn out entertaining…
~B

It’s a job

So in my latest job hunt I was notified about a position that I didn’t have any training for. I brushed it off and ignored the job opening for a day, due to the fact that I had no current training in that position. However, I knew I needed a job if I was going to be the supportive and providing man I want to be to my girlfriend and to my son, and of course to our cats. Keeping the lights on and food on the table would take more than hopes and dreams. Reality had sunk in a while ago about the need for money, and, because of bills and debt. I despise the green stuff. But payola is how this world is run and I knew I needed some, fast.

Despite the notice about the job, I kept looking for other employers. I wasn’t an easy hire on the market. I had hopes and a standard, neither of which wanted to drop. I had planned to find something that maintained between 4-5 of my priorities:

1) High scheduling flexibility
2) At least $13 an hour
3) High job security, barring being a complete idiot
4) Not more than a 40 minute drive from home
5) Great benefits
6) NOT A FARM!!!

Well, you get the picture. I was asking quite a bit. A little unrealistic, to be honest. Even a little bratty!

It’s funny how humility can change your perspective and even your priorities. I couldn’t find a job that met the requirements I had laid out for myself, reality started to creep up like a cold November wind…

But that’s all in the past, for now, because I eventually called the farmer and inquired about the position, which to my surprise, he hired me on the spot at the interview!

I was reminded of a midwest, USA truth: there’s always work on a farm. I’m sure it’s a truth on farms, world wide, though it’s a phrase used here in the midwest to remind the children of the farmer that there’s no escape from the farm. So, even though I had no intention of working on a farm because I had grown up on one and never enjoyed the commitment it called for (24/7, your entire life, not kidding), I find myself thanking this farmer because he is helping me become the provider I want to be again by providing me with work. Something I actually missed, once I started. More about that, later.

Even though I never had a dream of farming, farming is helping me accomplish my dreams. Ah, irony. It’s very humorous. In a way.

It made me wonder: how many other people are working at a job they would rather not be at, but, stay at for their family? I bet it’s a higher percentage than 40%. Use the poll below to help me figure it out. Thanks!

Use this poll to help me determine the answer to my question!

~B